“Each time a man connects with a woman sexually and releases his life form energy within her, he leaves a part of his information (DNA) in her birth canal.”
As a teenage girl exploring the sexual energy stirring within my young, overly-matured body—I had no understanding of the power of sacred sex.
Deeply judged by disapproving adults who observed a hunger for the opposite sex much too ripe for a girl my age—I soon developed a reputation for being “fast” and was put under close surveillance by a mother who would kill me first before she saw me follow in her footsteps of teenage pregnancy.
A stern iron fist was cast down upon my inner flame; an attempt to extinguish any hint of wildness—because ‘mama wasn’t raising no hoe’.
But fire can not be contained and the emotions I felt at having something as natural as breathing imprisoned— it incited within me a deep rebellion and resentment that would linger for many years after.
Despite the various methods used to cage my sexual urges—this fire demanded expression and sought outlet in the beds of horny teenage boys and men much too old for me.
You see, I was no different than any other fatherless daughter; searching for the love, safety, and acceptance ripped from the equation of my childhood. My sexual escapades gave me this sense of empowerment and those fleeting moments of passion satisfied my desire to be the center of a man’s attention.
This quest placed my virginity right into the trap of a boy so infested with inner demons—I don’t know how he was able to sleep at night. Shallow and much too inexperienced to recognize the signs of the spiritually unhealthy—I allowed my body to be taken; penetrated; tasted; smacked; pulled; grabbed;violated.
He injected everything into me.
His feelings of hate towards a mother who chose abusing drugs over being a parent; the death of a father he never really knew; the constant displacement and not really being wanted anywhere; the harsh reality of street life and all the vileness his young eyes had witnessed—he unintentionally emptied all of his unhealed shit into me and this is what I called love.
I believe our spirit has its own unique intelligence—because at some point during the course of what I call ‘The First Voyage Through Hell’, my body could accept no more injections and I was able to end this toxic connection and never look back.
But his energy still lingered.
I had no knowledge of energy cords and how the energy of whomever you choose be intimate with—if not cleansed— can become lodged in your aura. Meaning: We carry around the toxicity of those we’ve allowed inside of us no matter how long ago the sexual encounter took place and this part of our past will not rest until it is purged.
It wasn’t until my spiritual awakening in my late twenties (and the aftermath of yet another voyage through the depths of hell) that I began to make the connection between the partners I was choosing and my imbalanced emotional state.
I had absorbed the chaotic energy of my former partners and on a subconscious level—that energy was playing out in the form of inner turmoil, unrest, and a path littered with broken relationships. The despair; the uncharacteristic emotional fits; the suicidal thoughts that seemed to enter my mind out of nowhere—all of this was parasitic residue left over from the men I had been with.
So now I’m at a place on my journey of deep inner evaluation and increasing my knowledge of how to use my sexual energy in a more balanced way. Sexual energy is creative energy; a vital force that can bring us to unequivocal states of euphoria and breakthroughs when it is directed properly. But when that energy is misdirected and used merely for sake of us ‘getting off’ or trying to fill a void —it creates stains and burdens on the psyche that can take years to remove.
I have enough inner child/ancestral/past life karma I’m working through with just MYSELF, so I have no desire for my womb to be a dumpsite for any man’s repressed garbage and the repressed garbage of everyone he’s been with.
I am full to capacity and I’ve had ENOUGH.
Time, self-evolution, and experiences that just about broke my spirit has made me more conscious and respectful of the power of sexual energy and choosing wisely whom I let into my vessel.
I deserve a partner that handles me with care and infuses into me divine love, inspiration, tenderness, and a connectedness beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.
This is the essence of sacred sex.
And I am worthy.
Photo Muses: Kristoff Brown and Qlady | Photographer: Chaviante Photography
Akasha Oshun is a traveling freelance writer and blogger hailing from the “Windy City” of Chicago.
She’s a hedonistic Goddess and holistic health enthusiast who’s passionate about educating women and young girls on how to be more connected to mind, body, and spirit and hopes to be a catalyst for helping others transform every area of their life and be their most authentic self.