"The Queen of Her Own Heart" Shiloh Sophia McCloud
I recently had an experience with a loved one that led to a breakthrough.
I'll spare the details about the situation and my reflective process to reveal the inner conflict at the heart of it. Through self reflection, I came to the realization that
I did not feel VALUED by this person. This realization was such a significant breakthrough for me because the same dynamics were playing out in other relationships.
Secondly, this realization brought me to another, perhaps even more crucial awareness.
My relationships were HIGHLIGHTING my own INSECURITIES, that I DID NOT VALUE MYSELF.
You see, I believe that everyone, actually, the Universe as a whole, is a reflection or mirror of ourselves. What I experience with another person merely highlights my current beliefs and emotional state. So, it would make sense that if I do not value myself and I have a dominant belief that no one values me, this is what would be mirrored back to me. I would be met with people who actually don't value me OR I would project that insecurity/belief onto people.
I realized that I was so desperate for people to value me because I didn't value myself. I needed the validation, the approval of others to affirm me and to believe in my own worth.
I knew that my real work, however, was not to try and make people value me, but to value myself. I needed to truly valued myself: my voice, my desires, my needs, my dreams, my wellbeing, my joy, my gifts, my path...
So, how does one value themselves?
Well, there's no ONE path to take or guidelines to follow in the sacred and necessary work of self love and soul recovery.
Soon after I had my breakthrough, I was sitting and having a pity party when I heard a voice (the God in me) say,
"build yourself an altar!"
I've written about the power of building and using altars as part of one's spiritual practice. In fact, altar work is a favored tool/gateway in my own spiritual practice. However, I mainly use altar work to commune with and invoke Ancestors and spirit guides.
I have never built an altar solely dedicated to ME.
And so, I went into my sacred space and began to build my altar.
It was an incredibly healing and fulfilling process, putting this altar together to honor myself.
I brought my artwork into the space, pictures of myself (past and present), flowers, candles, my favorite oils and crystals, even my favorite snacks ad offerings... I made an altar fit for a Goddess.
After building my altar I sat and wrote a love letter to myself that I keep under my candle.
I begin every morning at my altar.
I pour libations into the pot of soil. I light my candle. And I read my love letter.
I tend to my personal altar just as I do all my others, cleaning it, replenishing it with fresh flowers, water, candles, soil, offerings.
Doing my rituals and tending to my altar is such a powerful act of self love, a daily reminder that
I DESERVE IT
I AM WORTH IT
I AM VALUABLE
I AM VALUED
**August 4th, the Black Femme Witches Brew Coven will begin a 21 day ritual to "Invoke Our Inner G(od)s."Members will be guided through building their personal altars, meditation, visualization, and other practices to deepen connection to self and build their ashe (Divine power, life force, and will). Join us!**
Jamila Kani is a witch of many trades. Through her collective, Black Femme Witches Brew, she co-creates spaces for black femmes to reclaim their magic and step into their power as Creators. In addition to her work with Witches Brew, Jamila is an Oracle, Ritual Practitioner, and Life and Spiritual Counselor.
Find her on Instagram and Facebook @blackfemmewitchesbrew