You've probably gotten this question at some point in your life.
I wanted to be a singer for a large part of my childhood. At some point, I decided that my true calling was to be a psychologist.
I don't recall exactly when I'd identified that I had the disposition to be a psychologist.
As a child raised in a tumultuous environment, I was often placed in the roles of caretaker and mediator. At some point, I recognized that I had a knack for conflict resolution.
Fast forward a decade or so, I’m working on a Masters in Social Work, with a focus in Mental Health. My goal is to become...you guessed it! A therapist.
In my final year of grad school, I landed myself the perfect psychotherapy internship.
It did not take me long to decide that being a therapist was NOT for me.
At that point in my life, I began a spiritual journey that was shifting my understanding of healing and the process of spiritual alchemy.
I wasn't fully cognizant of what was at the root of my disconnection from therapy, but I knew that it had something to do with "the story."
I felt that counseling created a space for people to retraumatize themselves and to ultimately remain stuck in the same self defeating patterns/programs by retelling the same painful stories.
Over. and over. and over.
I wanted my clients to move past their trauma so that they could create from a different program, one that reflected the power and beauty that I saw in them and heard in their stories.
Now, I’ve shared about my own healing experiences in a few of my articles.
In one article, "Embracing Your Dark Side", I discuss how at some point in my life, I become obsessed with the Law of Attraction, specifically the teachings of Abraham Hicks whose philosophy can be summed up as,
You are the Creator of your reality. Where you focus your energy/attention is what you attract into your reality. So, only focus on the “positive” and you will be rewarded with experiences that reflect this point of attraction.
Through doing intentional shadow work; however, I realized that healing, or spiritual alchemy, does not come from ignoring or denying your pain, but embracing it.
My resistance to hearing my client's stories reflected my resistance to processing my own story.
I wanted to fast forward to the happy ending.
"Oh, I'm over that."
"New day, new me!"
The truth? I was ashamed of my story and the things I had experienced, the harm inflicted upon me and the harm I inflicted upon others. I was resistant to acknowledging the pain that my life experiences had caused. I didn't want to feel that hurt. I didn't want to look at the very real ways that those experiences, and the suppression of them, were affecting me in the present.
But there is something so powerful that happens when you tell you story.
When you look at yourself. When you can speak your pain, your fear, your struggle, your darkness. In doing so you integrate those aspects of yourself. You take a step towards liberating yourself from shame, guilt, and suffering. Through the act of sharing your story, whether it be through writing, speaking, dance, painting, or whatever forum you choose, you can transmute the energy so that it no longer holds you prisoner.
How do you then move past your story?
How do you use your story to empower you?
How do you create spiritual alchemy through story telling?
A key to this is remembering that YOU ARE THE CREATOR OF YOUR STORY.
YOU get to decide how your experiences affect and shape you.
YOU get to choose the outcome of your story.
YOU have the the power to use your story to serve you.
What is a self defeating story that you have about yourself?
A story is simply a program. A program is a belief. A belief is made up of thoughts that you consistently practice.
You have the capacity to use your energy to create new stories and self serving beliefs for yourself.
Think about a self defeating story that you have about an experience in your life.
Can you take that same experience and change its outcome?
How did that experience work to serve your greatest good? How did that experience align you with your purpose?
If you don't know, make something up! What do you want to learn from that experience? How do you want it to empower you?
You are the Creator! You are the Magician!
Stories are powerful tools that can be used to negate your power or to assist you in stepping into it.
Think about. You have a story about everything!
You have a story about your childhood, about who you are, about your purpose, about your worth, about money, about relationships and love, and so forth.
The stories that you carry define who you are and set the foundation for how you navigate in life.
Your stories determine what you create.
It is time to create stories/ programs for yourself that SERVE YOU and that ALIGN YOU WITH YOUR POWER.
And so it is!
Photo Credit: Mykie Mcgowan
Jamila Kani is a witch of many trades. Through her collective, Black Femme Witches Brew, she co-creates spaces for black femmes to reclaim their magic and step into their power as Creators.
Find her on Instagram and Facebook @blackfemmewitchesbrew.